From:
Subject: Virus Humor

Guide to Computer Viruses

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later in another directory
O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.
BILL CLINTON VIRUS: Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all your applications, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts your entire system for four years
PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism"
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits
COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in L.A. but your data winds up in Dallas
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe can't figyour outt watt!
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data, 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error)
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes and ask for money
NIKE VIRUS: Just does it
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before


	Fiction
Fiction L A Fake Internet Presence, since 1994 Home TidBits BLong Source GBuffy Mutt ClearSilver Python PyApache PalmOS Tools Neotonic	From: Subject: Virus Humor Guide to Computer Viruses HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later in another directory O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it. BILL CLINTON VIRUS Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all your applications, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts your entire system for four years PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS Never identifies itself as a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism" ROSS PEROT VIRUS Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits COLIN POWELL VIRUS Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would. AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS You're in L.A. but your data winds up in Dallas HEALTH CARE VIRUS Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500 PAUL REVERE VIRUS This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C. DAN QUAYLE VIRUS Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe can't figyour outt watt! FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer GALLUP VIRUS Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data, 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error) TEXAS VIRUS Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file ADAM AND EVE VIRUS Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side. PBS VIRUS Your programs stop every few minutes and ask for money NIKE VIRUS Just does it STAR TREK VIRUS Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before
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