Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

From:
Subject: The WHO...

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The Unix Wizard

To the tune of The Pinball Wizard, by The Who

Ever since I was a young boy,
I've hacked the ARPA net,
From Berkeley down to Rutgers,
Any access I could get,
But ain't seen nothing like him,
On any campus yet,
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
Sure sends a mean packet.

He's on my favorite terminal,
He cats C right into foo,
His disciples lead him in,
And he just breaks the root,
Always has full SYS-PRIV's,
Never uses lint,
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
Sure sends a mean packet.

Ain't got no distractions,
Can't hear no whistles or bells,
Can't see no message flashing,
Types by sense of smell,
Those crazy little programs,
The proper bit flags set,
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
Sure sends a mean packet.

He's a UNIX wizard,
There has to be a twist.
The UNIX wizard's got
Unlimited space on disk.
How do you think he does it?
I don't know.
What makes him so good?