TidBits: Computer Chickens

Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 22:50:44 -0600 (CST)
From: Barton Warner (warner at digitek.com)
Subject: Computer Chickens (fwd)

How Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

It depends on the type of chicken.

NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road years ago, but who wants a big, blue, slow chicken?
Windows 95 Chicken: You see differently colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
Microsoft Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
Amiga Chicken: There are multiple chickens, crossing many roads at the same time, but they were, unfortunately, marketed as frogs.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road ...
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.
VB Chicken: USHighways!TheRoad.cross(aChicken)
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, this is a chicklet.)
Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right and just keeps on running.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
Lotus Chicken: Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do!
Macintosh Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road; so there's no way to tell it to.
COBOL Chicken
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING. IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING


	Fiction
Fiction L A Fake Internet Presence, since 1994 Home TidBits BLong Source GBuffy Mutt ClearSilver Python PyApache PalmOS Tools Neotonic	Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 22:50:44 -0600 (CST) From: Barton Warner (warner at digitek.com) Subject: Computer Chickens (fwd) How Did The Chicken Cross The Road? It depends on the type of chicken. NT Chicken Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure. OS/2 Chicken It crossed the road years ago, but who wants a big, blue, slow chicken? Windows 95 Chicken You see differently colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken. Microsoft Chicken It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road. Amiga Chicken There are multiple chickens, crossing many roads at the same time, but they were, unfortunately, marketed as frogs. OOP Chicken It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message. Assembler Chicken First it builds the road ... C Chicken It crosses the road without looking both ways. C++ Chicken The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side. VB Chicken USHighways!TheRoad.cross(aChicken) Delphi Chicken The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side. Java Chicken If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, this is a chicklet.) Web Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right and just keeps on running. Gopher Chicken Tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken. Newton Chicken Can't cluck, can't fly and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket! Cray Chicken Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked. Quantum Logic Chicken The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice. Lotus Chicken Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do! Macintosh Chicken No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road; so there's no way to tell it to. COBOL Chicken 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING. IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer: The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone. Well, except my own company, but that's gone now. For more information, see the Standard Disclaimer