Unattributed

Bill Gates goes to Hell

Bill Gates dies and heads up to the pearly gates. St. Peter meets him there and says, "Well, you've led an... interesting life, Bill. To be perfectly honest, we're not quite sure which place to send you. So we're going to let you decide."

Gates swallows nervously and says, "Okay.".

St. Peter snaps his fingers and they are instantly transported to a sunny beach. There's beer and rock music and topless women playing volleyball. Gates says, "Hey, is this heaven? It's GREAT!"

St. Peter says, "No, this is Hell. Let me show you what Heaven is like."

He snaps his fingers again and they are transported to a serene city park. There's a soft breeze and birds are chirping and old people are sitting on benches feeding pigeons and playing chess. Gates says, "Well, this is... nice. But, given a choice, I guess I'll take Hell."

St. Peter says, "You got it.", and snaps his fingers.

Gates is instantly imbedded in molten lava where his skin is flyed off in unspeakable agony. All around him he can hear demonic laughter and the screams of the damned. He looks up and shouts, "Hey, it wasn't like this! Where's the beach? Where's the babes?"

St. Peter looks down from his Macintosh and says, "Sorry, Bill. That was the demo.... "


	Fiction
Fiction L A Fake Internet Presence, since 1994 Home TidBits BLong Source GBuffy Mutt ClearSilver Python PyApache PalmOS Tools Neotonic	Unattributed Bill Gates goes to Hell Bill Gates dies and heads up to the pearly gates. St. Peter meets him there and says, "Well, you've led an... interesting life, Bill. To be perfectly honest, we're not quite sure which place to send you. So we're going to let you decide." Gates swallows nervously and says, "Okay.". St. Peter snaps his fingers and they are instantly transported to a sunny beach. There's beer and rock music and topless women playing volleyball. Gates says, "Hey, is this heaven? It's GREAT!" St. Peter says, "No, this is Hell. Let me show you what Heaven is like." He snaps his fingers again and they are transported to a serene city park. There's a soft breeze and birds are chirping and old people are sitting on benches feeding pigeons and playing chess. Gates says, "Well, this is... nice. But, given a choice, I guess I'll take Hell." St. Peter says, "You got it.", and snaps his fingers. Gates is instantly imbedded in molten lava where his skin is flyed off in unspeakable agony. All around him he can hear demonic laughter and the screams of the damned. He looks up and shouts, "Hey, it wasn't like this! Where's the beach? Where's the babes?" St. Peter looks down from his Macintosh and says, "Sorry, Bill. That was the demo.... "
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