Fiction    

Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

 Home
 TidBits
 BLong
   Source
     GBuffy
     Mutt
     ClearSilver
     Python
     PyApache
   PalmOS Tools  
 Neotonic

From:
Subject: Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support

The Top 12 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support

12> "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
11> "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
10> "So -- what are you wearing?"
9> "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
8> "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."
7> "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
6> "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
5> "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
4> "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
3> "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
2> "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support...
1> "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

 

 

The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer:
The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone. Well, except my own company, but that's gone now. For more information, see the Standard Disclaimer

Copyright (C) 2005 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved.
blong@fiction.net / PGP / Terms of Service